To Your Own Self Be True
by Paperdoll
Summary: Lavender/Parvati slash, set ten years after Hogwarts. Hugs to all who reviewed this with constructive criticism, I'm working on a revised version cause I know this one's pretty crap!


Disclaimer: They're mine, all mine! *evil laughter* So sue me...

A/N: There's so little f/f slash around that I just had to write this. Yes my little friends, that is slash slash slashy SLASH. You have been warned, so all flames are pointless. Constructive criticism welcome though.

This is dedicated to all the other fanfic authors out there who realise that Parvati is spelled P-A-R-V-A-T-I, not P-A-V-A-R-T-T-I or any other variations.

To Your Own Self Be True

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9th July 1998

They huddled around the gravestone, backs hunched against the rain and cold. Parvati shivered and stifled a sob. She would not cry. She had done nothing _but_ cry for days and if she didn't stop now, she never would. Blinking hard, she reread the inscription in the stone:

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Lavender Marie Brown

19th May 1981 - 7th July 1998

Dearly loved by all who knew her.

Rest In Peace

A little way off, Lavender's mother was weeping uncontrollably, her head on her husband's shoulder. So few days ago they had been waiting eagerly for Lavender to arrive at Kings Cross and tell them her NEWT results. Parvati pitied whoever it was who had had to call them to tell them that their seventeen-year-old daughter wasn't coming home that summer. Would never come home again.

It seemed so unfair. While the rest of the wizarding world celebrated the downfall of the dark lord; they had to suffer. Harry had finally defeated Voldemort. It was strange that now, after he had killed someone so close to her, Parvati was no longer afraid to say his name.

Lightening forked across the sky and people began to run for cover. Alone, Parvati stayed beside the grave, staring blankly at the muddy ground.

***

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7th July 2008

Parvati realised with distaste that she had managed to apparate in the middle of a large muddy puddle. She grimaced and stepped carefully out of it, shaking the droplets of water from her knee-high leather boots. A Hogwarts reunion, what a cliché, and yet something made her feel that she had to come. Only good manners, she supposed, after all, she hadn't seen some of these people since they graduated nearly ten years ago. Plus, it took her mind off the fact that it was the tenth anniversary of Lavender's death. Ten years, and she still hadn't got over it.

"Well? Where is he?" She whirled around and found herself face to face with Draco Malfoy.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied coldly.

"Husband, boyfriend, partner, fiancee, whoever you're with," he flapped his hands expansively. "Surely a pretty girl like you isn't _still_ single?"

She didn't fail to pick up on the mocking tone in his voice. "Fuck off, Malfoy."

"No offence meant, I'm sure.," he drawled smugly.

"None taken," she stalked towards the castle, carefully picking her way through the mud. She expected him not to follow, and he didn't. She grinned wryly; some things never change.

The huge oaken door hung open. She stepped inside and was greeted warmly by a shortish blonde man who she didn't immediately recognise.

"Parvati! Long time no see!"

She gave a relieved grin. "Justin. How are you?"

"I'd be better if they hadn't stuck me on door duty. Beats me why they can't use some sort of magical method to do this, but noooo, I have to check every single person off on these bloody lists!"

"Useless as ever I see," she pulled out her wand and flicked it at Justin's quill. "There, that'll do it for you now. Come and enjoy the party."

"Thanks." They walked through to the Great Hall and parted, wishing each other well. Parvati spotted Ron, Hermione and Padma and wandered over to them.

"Hi!" she said with false cheerfulness, air-kissing each of them.

"How are you these days Parvati?" asked Hermione.

"Oh, I'm fine, thanks. When's it due?"

Hermione patted her heavily pregnant stomach. "Mid-April. Only a month to go."

"How lovely for you. A boy or a girl?"

"We decided not to ask. Element of surprise."

"Getting broody Parvati?" Padma sniped. "Still no sign of a man then?"

"Oh leave her darling," said Ron.

"Shut up Ron, it's none of you business anyway," Padma snapped.

"Since when do you tell me what I can and can't say to my friends?"

"Since you started making really stupid comments, so basically forever."

Ron turned and stalked away looking thunderous. For a moment, Parvati was sure she saw a look of pain pass across her sister's face at the sight of her husband storming off, but then she was sure she had imagined it.

Padma laughed humourlessly. "Men!"

"Some one call?" Harry stepped up behind Hermione and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her lightly on the cheek. "Oh, hi Parvati! Where'd Ron go?"

"I don't know, and I don't care." Padma declared. Harry frowned and changed the subject quickly.

"So, Parvati, how's your love life?"

Parvati only just managed to stop herself having hysterics on the spot. "Fine," she muttered sulkily.

"Still no man then? Can't wait forever you know. Tick tock tick tock."

Parvati seethed inwardly. "Harry, I'm twenty-seven. Just because I want to concentrate on my career for a few years instead of settling down with the first man who crosses my path does not make me some sort of social misfit. You've been borrowing Hermione's Bridget Jones too many times."

Now it was Harry's turn to blush. He opened his mouth to protest but was cut off by Professor Dumbledore standing up on the makeshift stage and clearing his throat.

"I can' hardly believe he's still here," Hermione whispered.

"I know," added Padma. "You would have thought he'd have retired by now!"

Parvati sighed heavily and forced herself to look up at the ageing headmaster. Dumbledore cast his gaze around the hall.

"I'd like to welcome you all to our little reunion. I won't keep you long, as I'm sure you would rather get on with the festivities than listen to an old fool's waffle. I'm sure that many of you remember that it is ten years today since we lost one of our beloved students, Lavender Brown, to Voldemort."

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Great, thought Parvati. _Just great, I really wanted to be reminded of that now_.

After a moments silence, Dumbledore continued. "Or so we thought."

There was a stunned silence, followed by an outbreak of whispering and muttering. Parvati's brain seemed to have stopped. She stared at Dumbledore disbelievingly as he spoke again.

"Allow me to explain myself. The Ministry recently raided an old Death Eater hideout. Many were arrested and much stolen property was retrieved. Upon searching the building, Miss Brown was discovered in a state of suspended animation. Her family was immediately informed. She has been revived and will be joining our little celebration later on."

As all the old students who had known Lavender began to cheer around her, Parvati stood quite still and silent, unable to force her brain into gear again. Hermione turned and embraced her.

"Oh Parvati, you must be so thrilled!" she cried joyfully.

"Yeah," Parvati felt a grin spread across her face. "I am." Despite everything, she was still having trouble taking everything in. It couldn't be true, could it?

She felt a light tap on her shoulder and turned around.

And there was Lavender.

"Hey," the blonde girl said softly.

Parvati opened her mouth, but the words jammed in her throat. She gaped, wide-eyed at her lost friend, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Lavender flung her arms around Parvati and burst into tears. Parvati, half crying, half laughing, returned the hug, breathing that wonderful Lavender scent again. She was real. She was really there.

Parvati watched, gulping her drink, as Lavender made the rounds of her old friends who had gathered around, greeting and hugging every one of them.

Finally, they managed to slip away from the crowd, out into the deserted entrance hall.

"Let's go for a walk," suggested Lavender. "We've got a lot to catch up on."

"Yeah," Parvati agreed. "Ten years worth of gossip!"

"Well actually, I've only got five years worth to tell you, I was unconscious for the other five!"

"So does that mean you're technically five years younger than me?"

"Actually, I'm not sure."

"So why did they keep you alive for so long any way?"

Lavender sighed. "Can we talk about this another time. It's just that I haven't talked about anything else since I was revived, and I'd really rather not think about it too much. It's weird, you know, I've missed five whole years of my life. They reached the lake and flopped down on a dry looking patch of grass.

"Well, I don't really know where to begin. I'm the editor of Witch weekly, um, but I'm not married or anything. Harry and Hermione are expecting their first child in April, so no surprises there. Ron and Padma are married, but I don't know how long that will last at this rate. Dean is still madly in love with me and I am still determined not to date him..." Parvati rambled on about their mutual friends for a while, but she got the feeling that Lavender wasn't really listening. The other girl was staring out across the lake dreamily, twirling a strand of her long hair around her finger. Suddenly, she turned to Parvati.

"Do you remember our last school dance at Hogwarts?"

Parvati knew only too well what Lavender was getting at. That night they had both got a little drunk and carried away. It had only been a kiss, but the memory of it was seared across Parvati's brain. "Mmm," she murmured, terrified Lavender was about to say it had all been a mistake. 

"Well...I was thinking...um..." Lavender faltered to a halt, took a deep breath and kissed Parvati full on the lips.

Shocked, Parvati pulled away, her mind spinning. Lavender turned bright red.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." she stammered.

Parvati collected herself. "Yes you did," she said and returned Lavender's kiss. The other girl tasted vaguely of mint and almonds. They clung together, as if afraid to let go.

Parvati began to cry quietly. Lavender pulled back and looked at her in consternation. "What's wrong? What is it?"

Parvati laughed through her tears. "I was just thinking of that awful day, ten years ago, when I thought I'd never see you again."

Lavender smiled as tears sprang to her eyes as well. "Don't," she said simply, pulling Parvati close and kissing her gently on the nose.

"Well, well, well. What have we here? So this is why you're not married Parvati!"

Both girls jumped and looked up, to find Draco Malfoy standing over them.

***

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To be continued...

Please review! I'm down on my knees begging you for a review! I desperately need to know what you think of it.


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